“Is 31 too old to date a 24 year old? - AfterEllen.com” plus 1 more

Is 31 too old to date a 24 year old? - AfterEllen.com

Posted: 22 Apr 2010 03:34 PM PDT

I have a slightly different opinion than others, but let me preface it with a strong disclaimer:

I truely believe that every relationship is unique, and everything in a relationship depends on individual circumstances.

That being said, PLEASE don't burn me at the stake for adding a different perspective . . .

Currently, I am almost identical to the girl you're dating. Almost . . . I'm in my first long term relationship with a woman. She's 8 years older than me (29 and 37). She has had several commited relationships with women before I came along. And, I fear it may be true that she will always be in love with someone else in a way that she doesn't even recognize. For most of our time together, I overlooked all of these very apparent roadblocks between us. The new and alluring love I found overshadowed it all. I've always said the same things: "You look closer to my age", "we have common interests","we share the same goals in life", "you're everything I've been waiting for", etc. Therefore, the difference in age and experience was never an impediment . . . directly. However, I will also be completely honest in saying it has indirecly taken a significant toll on my confidence in this relationship being the best thing for me. Therefore, should you follow your heart (which I always believe is the only way to live) consider a few things that could pop up in her perspective when navigating through the future.

1) There is something somewhat discouraging about one's girlfriend trying to "educate" you in "how to be an adult." All I've ever wanted in life was to be supported by the person I love for being me; no strings attached. I would think this is true for most. It hurts to feel like you have to change yourself just to amount to the person your significant other wants you to be. There are no amount of excuses for doing this to a person that will ever make it feel justified. Love her for who she is as you met her and for all the dreams (lofty or not) that she wants to see come true.

2) I think it is extremely special to find the one person you choose to spend the rest of your life with. To me, it's even more magnanimous for that to happen with your first same sex relationship. As much I have always wanted to believe this person was the only reason I could fall in love with women, three years later, I'm starting to get scared that I'm going to regret not being able to experience other attractions to women. That doesn't mean I love her any less. It just means that she was significant in opening my eyes to a huge part of who I am, and I'm not sure I can close myself off to what else that might mean for the rest of my life.

3) Being compared (even if done so unintentionally) to the one that got away or the one you left behind (yes, I was the other woman . . .), is disheartening and burdensome. Maybe you won't openly see you're doing it. However, things will come up that will make you think of the person you were at one time hopelessly in love with or shared the most amazing life with. From experience, she will feel this coming from you, and she will always feel second rate. It will hang a dark cloud over who the two of you could be if you aren't able to just be honest in admitting you will always wonder about what might have been.

Sorry this is so long. And yes, these are MY hang ups. Doesn't mean your connection with this woman does or will embody any of these same situaitons. However, you did ask for advice, and seeing that your scenario hits so close to home for me, this is the only way I can share. I do believe that you HAVE to go with your heart or you might pass up something beautiful. I just believe that if my girlfriend were in your position three years ago, she would've wanted to see it from this perspective. NOT to avoid me, but to understand that everything about it was new to me, and being open to taking it slow would save for more hurt in the future.

For what it's worth :o)

"Does anybody remember laughter?"

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Are Twilight Actor and Harry Potter Actress Getting ... - Dose.ca

Posted: 22 Apr 2010 11:31 AM PDT

We've just managed to wrap our heads around the fact that one of Twilight's most vicious vampires is dating Harry Potter's sweet and innocent girlfriend, and now comes rumours that the young pair is engaged. Our teen fiction-loving brains are melting!

Bonnie Wright, who plays Ginny, Harry Potter's (SPOILER ALERT!) future wife in the film franchise, and Jamie Campbell Bower, who plays evil Volturi member Caius in the Twilight series, are rumoured to be getting hitched. The young stars attended the opening of the Gucci pop-up sneaker store in London last night, and sources tell UK's Heat World that they shared the happy news with fellow guests.

Wright, 19, and Bower, 21, went public with their relationship last month, with the actress telling OK! Magazine, "Yes, we're dating. We've been seeing each other for a few months; it's good."

The couple's reps have yet to comment on the engagement rumour, though the photos from last night's event clearly show a giant rock on Wright's left hand. (Maybe he pulled an Edward and refused to turn her into a vampire unless she promised to marry him?)

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