Posted: 20 Apr 2010 08:59 PM PDT

CHARLOTTE - A summer Sunday food memory, circa 1974: I'm sitting at the table watching while my mother makes banana pudding and my older sister discusses her latest date.

One talks about the frustrations of romance. The other listens, nodding, while patiently, steadily, assembling dessert.

Lining the casserole dish with vanilla wafers from a box. Slicing bananas and placing the circles just so. Spooning on a layer of vanilla-flavored pudding.

Building the layers until the casserole is full, then covering it with a final layer of fluffy, white whipped topping.

The whole thing goes in the refrigerator to wait until supper, while the wafers soften into cakelike layers and the banana flavor tinges both pudding and cookies, melding into something that will be cool and sweet on a hot night.

Watching them, I absorb a little about dating and a little about listening, and a lot about taking time for both comfort and desserts.

Recently, I set out to explore banana pudding. I looked into instant puddings vs. homemade custards, into vanilla wafers vs. fancier fillers like poundcake or ladyfingers.

Along the way, I wrestled with a mystery. Every source agrees that banana pudding is quintessentially Southern. But why?

One piece of the puzzle is the bananas. Starting in the late 1800s, they were imported through Southern ports, particularly New Orleans. Before the late 1960s, when Standard Fruit moved to Gulfport, Miss., so many bananas came ashore in New Orleans that watching the unloading became a tourist attraction.

Author Joe Dabney offers another Southern connection in his 1998 book "Smokehouse Ham, Spoon Bread and Scuppernong Wine." Starting in 1880, bananas shipped from New Orleans by the Illinois Central Railroad were stored in Fulton, Ky., before they were dispersed across the country.

The town used to celebrate its role as "banana capital of the world" with a yearly banana pudding festival, a tradition that continued into the 1990s.

Stephen Criswell teaches folklore and English composition at the University of South Carolina Lancaster. He couldn't say why banana pudding mostly stayed here. But he had theories on why it started here. He noted the strong resemblance between banana pudding and English puddings, which were generally anything that combined soft cake and custard.

"Technically, it's not a pudding; it's a trifle," Criswell says. "And it's sweet. There's that Southern fondness for excessive sweetness."

The schools of banana pudding:

Custard: It can be vanilla pudding from a box, but a simple custard is better. It's easy to make, and the texture is creamy, not gummy.

Bananas: They have to be ripe, with brown spots speckling the peel. Don't use too many; they get mushy. You want just enough to flavor the pudding and cake.

Fillers: Vanilla wafers are traditional. As they soak in the pudding, they soften into cakelike layers. But cubed poundcake is good, and other cookies are possible. Paula Deen has a popular version made with Pepperidge Farms Chessman cookies. Ladyfingers also show up in recipes.

Topping: Whipped topping is popular. Sweetened whipped cream is better. Best is meringue, baked just until the fluffy top is browned but the pudding underneath is still chilled.

BEST-EVER BANANA PUDDING

Church and community cookbooks are a great source of banana pudding recipes. In this one, adapted from the 1990 "Hopewell Heritage Cookbook" from Hopewell Presbyterian Church in Charlotte, evaporated milk gives the pudding a light brown color and a rich flavor.

1 1/2cups light brown sugar, packed

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1 (11- or 12-ounce) can evaporated milk, shaken well

3/4cup water

3 eggs

1/8teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/4cup butter

1 (12-ounce) box vanilla wafers

4 to 6 ripe bananas

TOPPING:

Whipped topping

2 cups heavy cream

2 tablespoons powdered sugar

1 cup vanilla wafer crumbs

Whisk together brown sugar, flour, evaporated milk, water, eggs, salt and vanilla in a heavy saucepan or the top of a double boiler over a little simmering water. Add butter and cook over medium heat, stirring, until the butter melts.

Reduce heat to low and cook slowly, stirring often, until the mixture thickens and just starts to look a little curdled. Remove from heat and cool slightly.

Place a layer of vanilla wafers in the bottom of a 13-by-9-inch glass baking dish. Slice the bananas into rounds and place a layer of rounds on top of the wafers. Top with about half the pudding mixture, spreading to completely seal the wafers and bananas. Repeat layers, ending with pudding. Refrigerate until chilled.

To make the topping, beat heavy cream with powdered sugar. Or use whipped topping or 1 cup vanilla wafer crumbs

From "Classic Southern Desserts," by the editors of Southern Living. This version was inspired by one served at Mrs. Wilkes' Dining Room in Savannah, but it is classic. The yolks are used in the custard, while the egg whites are used for the meringue. In testing, we found the custard stays soft, but is soaked up by the pound cake.

4 eggs

4 cups half-and-half

1 1/2cups sugar

1/4cup cornstarch

1/4teaspoon salt

3 tablespoons butter

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 (1-pound) all-butter pound cake, such as Sara Lee

4 large ripe bananas, peeled

MERINGUE:

1/4cup sugar

1/8teaspoon salt

1/4teaspoon vanilla extract

Separate the eggs. Cover the egg whites and refrigerate for the meringue. Whisk together the egg yolks with the half-and-half, sugar, cornstarch and salt in a medium saucepan and place over medium-low heat. Cook, whisking constantly, for 13 to 15 minutes. (Note: In testing, we had to start the pudding over medium heat and cook it longer, for closer to 25 minutes, before it thickened. Reduce the heat to low once it begins to thicken, so it doesn't scorch.)

Remove from heat and add butter and vanilla, stirring until the butter melts.

Cut the pound cake into 1-inch cubes. Lightly grease a 3-quart round baking dish.

Place half the cake cubes in the bottom of the baking dish, pushing them together so they fit snugly. Slice 2 bananas and place the slices in a layer over the cake cubes. Pour half the pudding over the cake and bananas. Repeat with remaining cake, bananas and pudding. Cover and chill at least 6 hours. (The pudding needs to be cold before adding the meringue.)

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Combine 1/4cup sugar and 1/8teaspoon salt in a small bowl and set aside. Beat the egg whites and vanilla at high speed with an electric mixer until foamy. Beat in sugar mixture 1 tablespoon at a time. Beat 2 to 3 minutes, until stiff peaks form. (When you lift the beaters, the meringue will form peaks that stand straight up. Don't overbeat, or the meringue will break down.)

Spread the meringue over the chilled pudding, completely covering. Working all over the top, push a spoon into meringue and lift quickly, to form peaks.

Bake 15 minutes, or until the meringue is golden brown on the peaks. Serve immediately.

2 large boxes instant vanilla pudding

Milk to prepare pudding

About 1/2cup sour cream

Frozen whipped topping, thawed, divided

6 ripe bananas

2 (12-ounce) boxes vanilla wafers

Prepare the pudding in a large mixing bowl, using the amount of milk called for on the box. Using a wide rubber spatula, fold in the sour cream and ½ cup whipped topping until no traces of white remain.

Peel bananas and slice in rounds. Gently stir banana rounds into the pudding.

Place a layer of vanilla wafers on the bottom of a serving bowl. Top with about half the pudding and bananas. Top with another layer of vanilla wafers. Top with remaining pudding and bananas.

Spread remaining whipped topping over the top. Refrigerate until chilled. Serve cold.

- Adapted from Samantha McCluney Criswell of Lancaster

Five Filters featured article: Chilcot Inquiry. Available tools: PDF Newspaper, Full Text RSS, Term Extraction.

TV Review: Romantically Challenged - New York Press

Posted: 20 Apr 2010 11:48 AM PDT

As a society, can we please bid farewell to sitcoms with laugh tracks? One camera sitcoms have been done so well (30 Rock, Cougar Town, Arrested Development) that watching the premiere of ABC's Romantically Challenged last night was off-putting. Alyssa Milano delivers a mediocre comedy line, and she is instantly rewarded with guffaws and actual applause? Really?

The laugh track isn't the most painful aspect of Romantically Challenged, though. A half hour revolving around a group of friends (including Milano as divorced mother Rebecca, dipping her toes back in the dating pool), the series seems intent on dumbing down dating. Rebecca's prissy friend Perry (Kyle Bornheimer) freaks out because the how, funny, sweet girl he's dating wants her to spank him; their writer friend Shawn (Josh Lawson) gets upset when his stories get B's in Rebecca's son's writing class; and Rebecca's sister (Kelly Stables) flits about saying mean things in a helium voice.

There are a few funny moments in the first episode, but there's nothing fresh, smart or interesting about a group of four friends who sit around a table at the same restaurant multiple times an episode, trading thudding quips and supporting one another. But try to tell that to the laugh track.

Photo: ABC.com

Five Filters featured article: Chilcot Inquiry. Available tools: PDF Newspaper, Full Text RSS, Term Extraction.

Flatulence Isn't Always Funny - East Bay Express

Posted: 20 Apr 2010 04:41 PM PDT

I'm a 27-year-old gay man. I had a really great first couple of dates with a guy, so for the third date I invited him to stay over. I cooked a nice dinner, we watched a movie, and we had a lovely time in bed together. In the morning, we had another romp. At one point, he was rimming me, and unexpectedly, unintentionally, I farted in his mouth a little. His reaction was along the lines of "EW! EWWWW! EW!" Mine was along the lines of trying to apologize through uncontrollable laughter. I said, "C'mere" and pulled him in to kiss me, and we finished with what I thought was minimal awkwardness.

Later in the day, to be cute, and even perhaps start a long-term shared joke, I sent an e-card that read, "I'm sorry for farting in your mouth." I then left town for the weekend, and when I got back I tried to get in touch with him. He sent the following text message: "i'm not sure about this. yr a sweet guy but i'm dating some other people... i just can't have farts in my mouth. i think i would have handled it a bit more respectfully."

Is a sense of humor about the inevitable off-color moments too much to expect? I mean, this was one strike you're out, not even a chance to talk it over. He dumped me over TEXT, for fuck's sake! Good riddance, I suppose. But did I really handle this wrong?

Flatulent Anilingus Result: Termination

You handled this beautifully, FART — that's why you got dumped via text message.

They don't cover this in sex ed, I realize, but the average idiot knows there's just one thing a person wants from someone who's just "unexpectedly" farted in his mouth, even just a little, and it's not an e-card. It's a lengthy, abject, mortified, immediate, and heartfelt apology. And after a rimmee farts — a blessedly rare occurrence — it's the rimmer's response that sets the tone for what comes next. Your guest was horrified and disgusted. When you saw his reaction, you needed to take your emotional cues from him, make your apologies and reassure him that it wasn't intentional, and express genuine remorse.

Instead, you laughed in his face, pulled him in for a kiss, and sent him a flip e-card. Basically, you did everything you could to give this guy the impression that you're either an inconsiderate asshole incapable of reading another person's emotional cues, or that you may actually be into farts — or worse — and that you intentionally farted in his mouth. I would've dumped you, too.

Yes, a sense of humor about those off-color moments is not too much to expect. But no relationship progresses to the laughing-off-the-fart-in-your-mouth stage, until after — long after — you've demonstrated to the person you're dating that you're a fundamentally decent, considerate person, worthy of their time and affections.

Every so often, I have to fight the urge to contact an ex-boyfriend from college. It didn't end well (I cheated). It's been over a decade (more like fifteen years) since we last spoke. I'm happily married, have two children, and live in a completely different part of the country now. Yet, I feel sad that we don't still know each other. The reasons for the indiscretion are complicated and include, among other things, stupidity and youth.

I know my reasons are selfish: I want to explain myself, I want to move on, I want to be forgiven. But if he wanted to be in contact with me, he would be. And yet, like a crazed idiot, I still hold out hope that someday he'll contact me or that we'll bump into each other. Should I contact him?

Can't Let Go

You should suck it up, CLG.

It's killing you that someone out there might hate your guts (with cause), might think you're scum (because you behaved like scum), and, we can safely presume at this stage, is content to have you out of his life (otherwise he would've looked you up on Facebook by now). This bothers you because you're not scum, of course.

I don't think you should contact him, CLG, not until you're a little more interested in what you could give him (a long-overdue apology) and a little less interested in what he could give you (absolution).

My wife and I divorced three years ago. Six months ago, I began seeing a good friend of my daughter's. I knew this was dangerous territory, but I really liked this girl. A month ago, we decided to take our relationship public. My daughter reacted poorly. She did not demand that we break up, but she did let me know that our relationship made her uncomfortable. And she was rightfully upset about some personal information my girlfriend had told me about her.

During the past four weeks, my daughter has gradually edged my girlfriend, formerly a close friend of hers, out of her personal life. She has also begun to spend less time with me. She tells me she does not want me to have to choose between her and my girlfriend; however, if she stops spending time with me, that's exactly what she's doing. I know she's upset. But I'm a grown man, and I just want to be happy. And in spite of the age difference, my girlfriend makes me very happy.

What can I do to make my daughter more comfortable with my new relationship?

Father Doesn't Always Know Best

It's nice to know that your girlfriend manages to make you happy "in spite of the age difference." Too many late-middle-aged men succumb to despair in the arms of their much-younger girlfriends. Anyway ....

What can you do to make your daughter comfortable with you fucking her friend while her friend blabs to you? Nothing. Your daughter may eventually become comfortable with your relationship, but there's nothing you can do to artificially force up her comfort level. And while emotional blackmail — "My girlfriend makes me happy, but I will sacrifice my happiness for you, darling, if that's what you want ..." — may result in your daughter spending more time with you and your girlfriend now, her resentment at being blackmailed will do irreparable damage to your relationship with her over the long run.

So just shut the fuck up, Dad, stop whining, and continue to enjoy the girlfriend in spite of the age difference. Then go apologize to your daughter for (1) keeping the relationship from her for so long (your daughter may be losing sleep over things she told her friend before she found out you were fucking); and (2) the invasion of her privacy that already took place. Then give your daughter the space she needs and the privacy she has a right to.

Five Filters featured article: Chilcot Inquiry. Available tools: PDF Newspaper, Full Text RSS, Term Extraction.